Ramesh, feat. Barack Obama and Trevor Noah

Let me first begin with a disclaimer and proof of my Singaporeanism:

My I/C is as pink as your mother’s lipstick, I spell Tampenis this way because I have one, and I can still do the full ACES Day workout.

(Was typing this out halfway before I felt the need to insert a disclaimer in case someone calls me a foreigner)

By now, almost everyone on the interwebz would have at least watched the “Ramesh v Uncle Steven” video, or read an article about Ramesh. You might have also heard CECA being thrown around, though you are forgiven if you don’t know what the acronyms stand for, and what the full agreement is about.

(I also don’t know how to pronounce this CECA. Is it See-Ka like Zika? Or is the “CA” more like Gongcha? To be frank with you, when I read a word that begins with a “Chee” sound i think of Chee.. Soon Juan.)

Here’s how I feel about this whole thing:

1. Was Ramesh wrong for verbally abusing Uncle Steven, who was just doing his job?

Yes. Chinese, Indian, Malay, Alien, Predator, King Kong – if you’re an ass, you’re an ass. I don’t give a flying fish who you are and where you’re from. Why scold Uncle Steven for only carrying out the orders of the MCST?

Anyways, if you want to read up on more MCST drama from other condos, you can read this article here:

I read until I laugh die me.

On a more serious note, more than anything, I feel that these MCSTs are the real culprits who take advantage of our security guards. They come up with whatever rules, and then the security uncles are the ones who have to enforce it.

If they neh carry it out, they will kena from MCST. If they carry it out, they will kena from resident.

So actually, the bigger ass in this whole thing, is the MCST. Ramesh may appear to be as the big bully, but the bigger bully – and the cause of it all – is the MCST.

2. Was Ramesh wrong to say he is one level up because he stays in a $1.5 million condo while others stay in HDB?

Same points as above. Bro, if you so high level, why not you stay in landed like Leong Sze Hian? Even better, stay in Yishun since you so garang.

3. Were the people who criticised Ramesh’s manners right to do so?

Of course lah! That’s why you can see my answers in 1 and 2. I also criticising him.

4. Was it wrong for them to include his nationality and race in their critcism?

This is the part where I start to disagree with some of the criticism, and the reason why I wrote the disclaimer above. Because I have seen many a kuku bird auto-classifying those who disagree on the inclusion of nationality and race as either a foreigner, or a Pappy Pig. Say so much later you look like Peppa Pig then you know.

Anyways, this whole angry-person-shouting-rudely scene, it isn’t a new thing. We’ve all seen it before. Heck, we’ve all behaved similarly, with differences in degree and choice of profanity. You don’t have to be a foreigner to be offensive. You don’t have to be from a particular race to be an asshole. The key difference is that when we lost our heads, we did not get caught on camera.

I would say its just too bad for Ramesh that he got caught, and he was not born here.

5. Was CECA involved in this whole saga?

K this one funny. When the issue started developing, CECA was highlighted over and over and over again. I saw it on Gilbert Goh, Lim Tean and Gerald Giam’s Facebook pages. I think it was also on Progress Singapore Party page too. Aiyah, basically it was everywhere lah. CECA here, CECA there – but nobody confirmed its actual pronunciation.

What was eventually confirmed was how Ramesh obtained his citizenship not through CECA, but via marriage. To a Singaporean-born woman.

In fact, this citizenship by marriage is a policy that even the Workers’ Party supports (which is the party that I support, in case you Peppa Pig me). Here’s their 2015 manifesto:

So don’t anyhow Pappy Peppa Pig people okay? I am also slightly triggered by how some personalities used this as a political opportunity. Don’t like that lah. It mars your own credibility, when one of your main arguments is how the PAP has no credibility. Like that you ownself shoot ownself lah. Don’t leh. We need more credible opposition in the game.

Anyway, amidst all the Ramesh things that’s been going on – the apology, the changing of security guards (I told you, the MCST is the biggest asshole) – this particularly apt clip from The Daily Show appeared on my timeline:

What struck me most was between 00:21 – 01:06, and 01:59 – 02:06.

In case you lazy to rewind, see screencaps below from The Guardian’s fuller video:

Boom.

Took the words right out of my mouth.