Letter to my sons

My dearest sons,

My joy was beyond description when I brought the both of you into this beautiful world a year ago. You guys complete me! My wish is for the two of you to grow up happy, fulfilled and passionate about life. However, recent news is giving me worry to no end. The number of suicides in Singapore rose 10 per cent in 2018, with suicides among boys aged 10 to 19 at a record high. I didn’t know boys could even contemplate suicide at such a tender age =(

Please, as you grow up, I pray that you will listen to a mother’s instruction, pay attention and gain understanding. Do not take your life just because you think you are at a stuck in a situation that cannot be resolved. What I say is from experience, sprinkled with tonnes of love and with sound judgement. Do not forsake what I say!

Big boys do cry

Crying is a natural human response. Do not be ashamed of it. We cry to express sadness, grief, frustration and even joy. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking crying is “wrong”! Once you have identified the reason for crying, you will then be able to seek help for your sadness or share the joy. The more open we are to seeking help, the less social stigma there will be against reaching out for help. I want you to grow up to be in tune with your feelings, especially when you feel alone or helpless, to know to choose the right path forward.

Friends are important

Friends are important because they are the ones who will lend their ears to you and offer their advice on how to resolve difficulties you may face. Friends who are unable to help immediately will then be able to direct you to professional support services and trained professionals. You may one day be in a position to offer advise to a friend and it is important to know that a supportive and encouraging environment will always be more beneficial for their health and your health.

Don’t be pressured by the world

Unfortunately, we live in a world that stresses the importance of masculine qualities as a measure of success. Very often as a result, we grow impatient toward behaviours that seem to depict weakness, such as seeking help, pausing to take a breath to cope with tasks, sharing our feelings. Don’t grow up thinking you need to be tough and be able to accomplish all tasks. You just need to try your best in your efforts and know that outcomes are very often out of your control.

I will be there for you

Till my last breath, I will always be there for the both of you. We will have disagreements as you grow up, but no matter what, know that I will always love you and have your best interests at heart. You must share your life with your old mom as you grow and pursue your passions. I will definitely be able to help you through any difficult situations you may encounter. I will not be proud and will refer you to more qualified persons if I am unable to help you.